I remember when I was a kid, I thought my shyness is what made it so difficult and exhausting for me to be social. I thought the answer would be to find an outgoing guy to get me out of my shell.
Now, however, i understand that there is absolutely no shell. I can and do enjoy being around people and friends, because I have a nice little bubble to unwind in.
The thing is though, I really like my bubble. So the prospect of finding a guy who not only will love me and understand me and eventually share my space is rather daunting. Share a space... which is why my dreams of that dashing, extrovert have turned into: pleeaaaaaase let me find an introvert!!!
Because how do you let a guy know that you need space, but still want to see them? I've explained it on a few occasions, to different guys, to no avail. They took it as dumping, and then were more emotional than I was so I ran.
Or then there's the guys who reaaallly want to see me all the time and again, i need to take things slow. Again, also hard to get across apparently. Even non-verbal, clearly typed messages get misunderstood?
And in the back of my mind, i can't help but wonder if, with the right guy, I won't have these reservations. So maybe i'm overly worried for nothing. (would not be the first time. Like today, when i was seriously thinking i had appendicitis)...
I guess really, time will tell. In the meantime, here's hoping I'll at least make a friend. The best relationships start as friendships don't they? That concept seems lost on people today.
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