My Life as an Exmo

Has been really, really simple.

I don't feel guilt nearly as often as I used to.  I'm not constantly stressing about making the right decision.  I'm not worried about what an invisible sky daddy is constantly thinking about me.  And I don't censor my thoughts, or emotions which did nothing good for me at all.  (And if you think the church does not teach controlling your emotions and thoughts: take a quick peek at these search results.)

Now I look forward to the future because I've realized if I want to do something, I better get out there and do it cause this life is probably the only chance I've got to do it.  I'm more prone to go out with friends (somewhat more) because I never know when the next chance will be.  When I get angry I no longer get in a vicious cycle of anger/stress/guilt (repeat for days on end).  Now I get angry, swear, maybe hit a pillow, move on with life.

I've also recongized that there is not one "right" way to do things.  I don't have a predetermined path to walk.  I can walk whatever road I feel like walking.  And hey, if I get halfway down and realize I don't like it, I can change direction and forge a new path all over again.

I'm far more relaxed around people too.  Since I no longer worry about the "spirit" being offended, (Which he is an overly sensitive jerk that needs to get a life) not much phases me anymore in a conversation.  I don't worry about if there's caffeine in something I want to drink, and heck if I wanna try a coffee I will try a coffee.  I have discovered that I become extremely ADD with coffee though.  (By become, I mean more so).

So really, I've become a far healthier, mentally stable individual.  My head has become my safe haven again.  The place where I can say what I really want to say before I come out with my filtered response.  I've painted more.  When I actually get my butt around to it I write more freely.

And most importantly, I AM HAPPY.

Do I want to make changes in my life?  Yes.  But I also recognize that is is within my power to change it.  I don't  need permission from a big invisible sky dude whose more concerned about sex than he is about people making the world a better place.